


Tell Me Who I'll Be

by JustALuckyBug



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: M/M, One Shot, Pre-Movie, allusions to concentration camps, but also sad, but also spoilers for the movie, little Erik, pretty schmoopy, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-14
Updated: 2013-07-14
Packaged: 2017-12-20 05:35:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/883527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustALuckyBug/pseuds/JustALuckyBug
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Tell me who I’ll be,” he says, and it’s a game, between the two of them, something to pass the time, and something to keep up hope, because Erik wants so badly to believe he’ll have a future to grow into.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tell Me Who I'll Be

“Tell me who I’ll be,” he says.

Leo takes Erik’s dirty palm between his just-as-dirty hands, and runs a finger down the lines that crisscross in the middle.

“You’ll be important,” Leo says. His words are hard to understand because most of his teeth are gone. Also, he’s from _Schweiz_ and they speak a secret kind of German there that Erik doesn’t know.

“What else,” Erik urges. There’s a crease in Leo’s forehead that means he’s thinking, so Erik lets him continue peering at his hand.

“You’ll love someone.” Leo looks up at him when he says it, like maybe it’s not so good a thing to do, to love someone.

Erik doesn’t care. He doesn’t mind not being good. “Who,” he demands. Leo shakes his head and takes his fingers from Erik’s skin. The wind blows harder outside so that the single light bulb flickers. Leo swears in Italian, and tries to steal more of the blanket they are sharing. Erik doesn’t let him, not ‘til he knows who.

“Who,” he asks again, and pokes Leo in the side. He can feel the other boy’s ribs beneath his shabby shirt. It reminds him of the bird he’d once found dead in the road; it reminds him that he’s hungry and there isn’t food to eat.

“ _Scheiße_ , Erik,” Leo snaps, and pushes him a little, almost off the cot. Before he can fall, though, Leo grabs his sleeve and saves him. Then he offers, like an apology,

“I can’t tell you who, Erik, it doesn’t work like that.”

Erik frowns. Leo turns away, like he wants to sleep, but Erik is too cold to sleep, too hungry.

“But,” he insists, and Mama used to say he was incorrigible, before, when they were together, “then how will I know?”

Leo doesn’t answer, he only breathes softly. Erik knows he’s not asleep.

“How will I know,” he repeats, and waits.

Like he knew he would, Leo turns back to him, exasperated, and answers if only to keep him quiet,

“You’ll know.”

Later in the night, as they lie side by side and shiver together in solidarity, Erik says again,

“Tell me who I’ll be,” and it’s a game, between the two of them, something to pass the time, and something to keep up hope, because Erik wants so badly to believe he’ll have a future to grow into.

Leo answers softly, and in puffs of air, because sometimes he has trouble breathing,

“You’ll be strong,” he whispers, “and smart. You’ll protect the weak when they can’t protect themselves.”

“And I’ll love someone,” Erik replies, and it’s more of a question than he wants it to be.

“You’ll love someone,” Leo confirms. He finds Erik’s tiny hand and squeezes it.

That night, even though he’s never seen one, Erik dreams of an ocean, cold and dark, and of a voice that says _you are not alone_. 

 

* * *

 

“Can you see the future?” Charles whispers, as Erik traces the seams of his palm. In his voice Erik can hear a million things: amusement, affection, worry, and that emotion Erik won’t name.

Erik doesn’t answer, but presses a kiss into the other man’s hand. When they are like this, spread out on white sheets and bathed in moonlight from the open window, Erik can almost ignore the quiet desperation in Charles’s eyes.

He doesn’t need to be a telepath to know what Charles worries for. Tomorrow they will go to war, and Charles fears for the children, for the humans, and for him. Charles does not fear for himself, he is that sort of person, he has that sort of heart.

“Well, can you?” Charles persists, because he wants dreadfully for this to be just another normal night, and not the last time they will lie like this. Erik understands, he’ll play along.

So instead of saying aloud all the things they may never get to voice ( _Iloveyoupleasedon’tleavemeIcan’teverlivewithoutyou_ ), he whispers into Charles’s skin,

“You will be important.”

Charles stills at the answer, like he knows somehow that the words are not random, but carefully chosen. “You will be strong,” Erik continues, and each breath he takes shortens the distance between them.

“You will love someone,” he says, and their lips brush quietly.

“Who?” Charles asks absently when they break apart for air. Erik smiles against his cheek, leaves his lips there as he answers.

“Oh, Charles,” he chuckles softly, the sound of it causes Charles to smile reflexively. “It doesn’t work like that.”

“How does it work?”

Erik doesn’t reply right away, only exhales softly. Charles breathes in the air that he breathes out, and it’s like they were made to fit together, just like this.

He shakes himself away from thoughts so dangerous, and makes himself respond.

“You’ll know,” he says, and Charles takes a moment to remember what he’d asked. When he does, he smiles. The sight of it in the shadowed darkness leaves Erik somewhat breathless.

Charles traces the curve of Erik’s chin, the bridge of his noise, the wrinkles in his forehead. He follows his finger with his mouth, leaving kisses as he goes. He pauses over Erik’s lips, and again, Erik is hit with the thought that perhaps they are something set in stone.

“I already do,” Charles whispers, and Erik doesn’t try to follow the conversation anymore, not with the other man so close. Instead, he pulls Charles to him, and makes sure he forgets that he’s meant to worry. 

 

* * *

 

Only later, when Erik is walking slowly away from Charles wounded in the sand, will he remember those words they shared, and know what Charles meant by them.

He will think of Leo, then, and wonder if his future was always meant to be this way. He will remember Leo’s voice when he said _you’ll love someone_ and wonder if those words weren’t meant to warn him.

 _Too late_ , he’ll think as he grips Azazel’s arm, _I already do_.

**Author's Note:**

> Little one-shot I wrote a while ago. Tell me what you think!


End file.
